Thursday, November 24, 2005

i would never want to be young again

I was watching Rupert this morning - you know, the cute British bear with the yellow plaid scarf - and I thought to myself, this is a show that I will have my children watch. I could see myself with them, sitting on the carpet, one child so close to me that our knees are touching, and one curled up in my lap. I thought, maybe they wouldn't like it, but then I thought, they would watch it with me, and would love it just because it would be something we did together. I hate/love thoughts like these. Hate because the idea of having kids worries me and I'd rather think of it as something terrible that I would never want to have a part of. Love because... well... it would be a wonderful thing to be a mother.

I wonder how anyone ever knows for sure whether or not they are well-suited to be parents. It is such a difficult decision. Although, since I'd need a husband to have babies, and I can't even find a boyfriend, I suppose I won't be needing to worry about that decision for awhile yet.

Yesterday was Anne's last shift. It won't be the same without her. Now I won't have anyone to gossip with and buy me donuts! AND I'm never going to get to meet her cousin, now. Although, she did tell me something interesting yesterday. APPARENTLY, her cousin worked up the nerve to come in and see me last week and brought FLOWERS as an apology for not coming by that day he said he was going to. But, I wasn't there, so he just went home and threw the flowers away. Eek!

I suppose I should go get ready for work. Blah.

1 Comments:

At 4:25 AM, Blogger Kent said...

Hey Natalie!

First and foremost, I used to watch "Rupert" all the time. I loved that show. I'll sit curled up in your lap and watch it with you if it's any consolation? The logistics are yet to be worked out, but I think at least a tenth of my disgustingly lanky body would fit.

As a reply to your comment on my blog, my interview went pretty well I think, but I'm not too confident that I'll get the job. I tend to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I'll find out next week, but I'm not going to worry about it until I know either way for sure.

"Eats, shoots, and Leaves" was okay. I am a bit obsessive compulsive when it comes to some parts of grammar, but definitely not when it comes to other parts. I guess I'm a hypocrit. The book was witty, but kinda silly all in all. The title is amazing (if you have a chance, read the story behind it on the back cover), but the book doesn't really live up to it.

Alright, it's 4:22 AM so I should be sleeping. Hopeful at least one point I made above makes some sense. Goodnight kiddo,

Kent

 

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